I had a conversation today with close family about some stuff. I have been down about taking my test and have been waiting on the results for it to find out how I did. It has kind of been draining on me. Today my sister-in-law and brother came down and helped me clean out my parents house that I am living in. It has been a draining, but good day. We have got a lot of work done and I am so grateful that they have come to help me with it!
I found a newspaper article today that made me really think about life in general. It was the article that showed my brothers accident whenever he was only 3 years old. I had never seen this before since he passed away before I was born. After I read the article about it and saw that based on the picture, nobody could have walked away from that accident alive. The drivers side was hit first and was completely compacted. My grandmother died instantly and my brother was on the other side. He died of complete internal injuries. My sister-in-law told me that he did not have a scratch on his body and you would have never know anything was wrong with him. The accident was at 8:30 a.m. and he did not pass away until 10:30 a.m.
It made me start thinking about my life in general. I would not be here if my brother had not passed away that day. My parents were done having kids and because of him passing away they decided to have another child. My mom said that she needed another child and I could imagine that after loosing one.
My sister-in-law also told me that in more ways then one, that I have probably touched and blessed more peoples life's just because of what happened then both of my brothers could have. I know it is not a competition, but in my mind, just knowing that I would not be here without my brother passing away means so much to me. My mother has told me that I acted a whole lot like him whenever I was little and would have probably been really close to him if we grew up together.
I am grateful for my family, friends and husband. After seeing that picture, I realized that you can not take your life for granted and the people that you have in it and the things you have. I have a wonderful life, home, family and friends. I have a faith like no other and am so grateful for everything that God blesses me with. I know that God provides and that if it is his will things will work out the way that they are supposed to in his will. I know it sounds horrible to say that I am blessed to have had a brother that gave his life and is not in Heaven, and I am here to tell his story and live through him and through God who put me here.